You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
