we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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