i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
