Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
