im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
