I love black thongs
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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