I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
