Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
