But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
