Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My dick has a subreddit
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
