I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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