I just made out with a guy for $7.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Even my vagina gasped.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize