Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.

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(650): View more from California

areolas are like halos for boobs.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.

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(240): View more from Maryland

He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?

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(303): View more from Colorado

There are paw prints all over my ceiling.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''

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(647): View more from Ontario

I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.

(905): View more from Ontario

It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.

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