Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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