I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
