I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
