The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
