In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The adults are the big ones right?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
