I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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