I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
where am i from again
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
