I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
