Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How does one acquire holy water?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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