that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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