That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This baby is an asshole
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
