If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
