Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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