lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
