Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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