I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
