How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
