what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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