HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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