at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
