The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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