Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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