I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
