Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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