Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
