oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize