Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it's like iHOP with fire
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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