i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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