At least make sure they are 18
Why
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
