my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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