weddingsv make me drug and hornr
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
