i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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