good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
