Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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