He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
