Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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