every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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