Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
