I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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