Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
