just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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