Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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