mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
