There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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